So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize