Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
