As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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