carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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