i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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