we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
