the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
