just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
