the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
