Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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