what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
