Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
