The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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