Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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