Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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