I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
