take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
