the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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