Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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