Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
