dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
