Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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