ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
