We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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