How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
