I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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