worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the raccoons are back...
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