Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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