So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
