Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
