I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Still dying that you shit outside
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
