How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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