She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
