No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
