You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
