we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
