i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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