i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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