No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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