She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
