I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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