He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
