Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
