I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
