My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm at about main and main street
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
