This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
