i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
