guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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