I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
