omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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