last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize