no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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