We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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