Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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