bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
