I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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