like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
worst night to have a conscience
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
