I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This show inspires me to have sex in space
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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