I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
