there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
