I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
