have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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